Good Bye To Laos

Good bye to Laos.

The final night was one of little sleep as an event in town saw VERY LOUD music howling till well past 1.00am, the beat was so much it was reverberating through the pillow and with earplugs in not much better, we were on the 7^th floor so fuck knows what it was like at ground level….not sure if I am sounding old or the noise was unreasonable...you choose.

The border, exiting Laos, the customs wanted a piece of paper for Xiao Lyu we didn’t have, we explained that the one we had given them along with one other sheet was what they gave us (twice cos they suffed up) but for some reason they had to have something else, at that point we raised our voices and said that is it, THAT IS IT, I was waiting for them to try and fine us or ask for money but somehow everything came ok??, then the customs lady (stoney face) was thumbing through my passport saying you don’t have a VISA for China, I cannot stamp you out…..WTF.

I said no we get a 30 day free VISA we do not need anything else, she was insistent and I had to stand my ground saying I don’t care stamp me out and I will deal with the consequences (for which there are none.)

I yelled over to Ellen and next thing her border guy said I can’t stamp you out you don’t have a VISA…ffs NO-ONE seems to know what is going on.

Next thing there are phone calls and Laosgabba backwards and forwards across the customs area, stoney face then grabbed my passport, stamped it with hammer force (cant touch this...doo doo do do) and threw it back on the counter, so, me being correct was my fault and I am to blame because she didn’t know her job…works for me LOL.

Ellen got signed out under the same and we walked out under a veil of customs nasty fog cementing our thoughts of Laos(y)       

Then to cap it all off’ a dog was trying to have a go at us, by this time all my “fluffy” points were used, the border control guards thought it was funny then the dog came in too close so I went for it and kicked it just nicking it … the border guards then stepped in a shoed it away, my face to them they knew I was on no mood for that shit and they realized if the dog came in again they would be carrying it out.  

Over to China side, parked the bike for inspection, no problem, we went in, Ellen one way and me with the moto the other side.

The first lot did a full inspection, VIN, Engine numbers and all three cases open and this is normal. This fello was pretty cool and I helped him with the numbers which he appreciated.

Then, the next crowd signaled me and the bike to come through, I had to push the bike around the barrier arm to stop it about 2 meters from where it started.

Then the next search, the guys had been watching the previous guys check everything, then fuck face, I think brother of stoney face above made me open up again and he pulled everything out again, I bought into it to keep the peace until we had stuff all over ground then I had words and said you watched them pull it all out and inspect why the second round?, he continued being a power hungry idiot so I piped up and said not so politely (which he seemed to understand) anything else you want you want to pull out you can pack it back in properly yourself.

The search finished right then at my disgruntled tones, then fuck face just walked off, wanker, the other young lady looking slightly embarrassed at his antics and she was polite.

For some reason they looked at our maps which became the next subject of interest, they unfolded both of them and asked if I bought them in Laos or China, smelling a tax rat I said China (because we did) and they lost interest, (one map of Yunnan and one of Laos so clearly a plot from international drug runners and carrying massive weapons .......from Cromwell LOL).

To say I am done with Laos is an understatement and my love for Chinese border control power hungry muppets is right up there too, I understand they have a job to do but there is a point where unreasonable becomes their main game which is corrosive.

I feel the last part of our trip has been a real trial 99% by bureaucratic power hungry unhelpful idiots, we had some fun on the Americas trip border wise but easy compared to this, also my South Korea, Russia and Stans was a walk in the park next to these clowns. 

I don’t like writing negative stuff but be fucked if I am going to say how wonderful they were and how wonderful Laos is, cos they weren’t and it wasn’t.

If Laos was on your list of places to go …..spend your well-earned money somewhere else is our honest opinion.

Rant over, hopefully some plain sailing ….at least for bit.